Changing The Focus

We are not naturally constrained by the conditions of our existence because our limitations are learned and memorized as we navigate life’s events. Not one of our memories is intrinsically real although they do appear so. They are best viewed as recordings of events, yet they remind us of the suffering, the good, and neutral things we’ve experienced. Memories hold everything that restricts us and positive data to move us forward. They can be overwritten because they are not our masters, we do not have to be beholden to them. For most of us, it’s our choice.

Granted, some people suffer acute destruction in their lives because of memories that have become their master of destiny and help is required. Fortunately, the majority don’t suffer in this way, but negative memories do affect our lives and how we respond to events that cross our radar.

Memory Bio

Memory is simply what we remember. It is information stored over time that can be recalled or triggered by events.

It is:

  • The data of experience
  • It has a positive, neutral or negative flow of energy
  • It labels experiences
  • Memories (or elements of them) associate with other memories
  • They have access to an incredible search engine

Preserved Snowballs

Memories are preserved when we attach something to them. So, when we assign a label to an experience it is filed in our memory and preserved and each individual memory associates with some other information that’s not part of the actual experience. Here’s the preserved snowball effect and the memories just seem to keep on snowballing – getting bigger.

The first time I went ice-skating, I fell on the ice, laying on my front. Arms and fingers outstretched. As I lay there, another skater almost touched my fingers with the blade of a skate. I saw an image of detached fingers on the ice. I’ve not been ice-skating since, it’s dangerous and I’ve seen my children pick up a few bumps and bruises from ice-skating too.

Some years later, I convinced myself to try rollerblading. It had to be safer because there was no other skater around to slice my fingers if I fell. I did fall and became physically disabled for a long time. While it may not seem logical, I associate ice-skating with roller blading and only some powerful therapy will get me on skates again. Yet I’m no stranger to danger and I love to fly down mountains on my mountain bike or skis. Those skate memories seem to be offering false logic.

Changing the Memory Data

If I had been able to associate something positive with the non-injuring ice-skating fall, the memory would have been preserved as a different picture on my timeline and I would probably join my children when they ice-skate at our local Christmas market each year. I love to watch them fly around the ice and two of the girls are particularly good. Yet, I always see the image of detached fingers when I watch although, I don’t tell them about it.

Had I changed the timeline image no negative memory would persist, and the fall may then be viewed as wisdom. Wasn’t hurt, get up, dust down, learn how to skate properly.

New Learning

At some point in our lives, we’ve all been beginners and with practice, we can become experts. Think about learning how to play a new sport or a musical instrument. There are many skills necessary and we can only start at the beginning and by repeatedly referring to the basic instruction. Once we understand it, we can step up to the next level and so on. Eventually, we no longer need to remember it, we know what to do and the action flows. Our experience becomes wisdom.


This impacts memory in a different way and some writers have suggested that when our body experiences physical trauma our consciousness separates from our physical body, a fuse blows and the light goes out until we recover from the initial impact and the fuse is replaced. It’s up to us to replace the fuse by making sense of events. But our memories may hold us back and what might be logical to some people become illogical to us thanks to our memory bank.

Replacing a Blown Fuse

We all have blown fuses that we haven’t replaced. Let’s say you decide to start an online business in the stationary supplies’ industry and despite your best efforts it fails because there is too much competition. As you’re heading for failure, memories are stored with images of events along the way. One of the images might be of someone close telling you it was a bad idea all along. You blow a fuse about online business and if you start another without replacing the fuse and changing the negative images, failure has a strong chance of striking again because your memories have effectively taken your power. The more power you invest in memories, the more power they take.

Let’s think about any high-level sports’ personality. They enter their arena on a new day and are focused on what they need to achieve. A commentator flashes a list of their past performances on the screen in the arena and highlights the difficult ones. The sports’ person sees the statistics and even though they are old and not relevant to this performance, they have a negative effect. Performance is affected by the emotions and expectations brought up by those past events. The mind has an album full of memories to look at.

How to Replace a Fuse?

Our minds developed the memory images and the power of our minds can be used to erase them and replace the fuse. Here’s a straightforward process that works. It may seem a little ‘out there’ but that’s where the memories are, ‘out there’ sapping your power.

  1. Find a comfortable place where you will not be disturbed. Both feet on the ground, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breath in through the nose, hold the breath for a few comfortable seconds, breath out through the mouth and repeat for a minute. Allow the tensions in your body to dissipate and become aware of the space behind your eyes. Choose to focus on ‘being there’ in the center of your head.
  2. Eyes still closed and keeping the breathing exercise going, focus on grounding yourself to the earth for a couple of minutes (If you need help with this, ask and I will send some instruction).
  3. Picture a flower, any flower, in your minds eye and hovering 12-inches in front of your forehead.
  4. You created this picture as a spiritual being; your body has nothing to do with it.
  5. Without judgment, observe your flower for a few moments. The image doesn’t have to be perfect, just allow it to be what it is.
  6. Now place an imaginary photo of a memory you would like to erase within the petals of the flower. Nothing complicated, keep it simple for now. Simply observe, don’t judge, stay grounded.
  7. Imagine the flower and the photo have exploded into dust, smoke, whatever fits for you. You are releasing all the energy you had in that picture.
  8. To finish, image a golden sun where the flower was. You feel its warmth permeating every part of your body. Open your eyes when you’re ready and notice any changes in your awareness and energy. Try not to think about the memory you just exploded.
  9. Repeat this exercise two or three times each day until you feel it’s no longer necessary and move on to another memory that needs a new fuse.

Does it Work?

It works for me and many people I have worked with even some who started out exceptionally skeptical. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Better to test the pudding than put up with debilitating memories that came from out there in the first place.


We need a box of tools to challenge our limits and move forward toward success. If you feel that you may benefit from help, please leave your contact details in the comments section below and you will be contacted by your preferred method. Please understand that your contact details will never be published and your privacy is assured.

Comments and Questions

Please leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in other readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.

I wish you a wonderful and successful day.

Peace & Light

Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors. He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.

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