The desire to know everything and be right, no matter what, does not lead us to get what we want.
Well, there’s a contentious statement to get things started today.
Can We Ever Know Everything?
I think the simple answer to that is “no”, although that should never stop us from trying to know everything there is to know about what we do or want to achieve through learning. Learning leads to growth and growth can lead to the mastery of whatever it is that we decide to focus our full attention upon.
At numerous times in history people have thought they knew everything. At the end of the 1800’s, people believed all the major discoveries in physics had been made. Enter quantum theory and Einstein’s theory of relativity. The world of physics took a leap forward.
The Latest on Mindfulness
Yale University – 19 February 2020
“Merely a brief introduction to mindfulness helps people deal with physical pain and negative emotions, a new study shows. The effect of mindfulness was so pronounced, they found, that even when participants were subjected to high heat on their forearm, their brain responded as if it was experiencing normal temperature”.
Choose almost any subject.
I chose Mindfulness because I’m interested in Mindfulness theory and practice, I develop my own understandings and always want to know more about what other people are discovering. Thanks to the folks at Yale, I learned something and added it to my personal data bank.
No matter how much I know, I will never know how much I don’t know. If I think there is nothing more to discover, I will stop learning and cease to follow the path to “expert”. It’s essential that I’m open to “being teachable”. If I’m not teachable, I stop learning and may become what some people call, “a dinosaur”.
Effective leaders are humble, self-aware and always willing to learn from others. If we remain open to this, it reflects positively in what we do, and some people will learn from us. It doesn’t matter what our interest or niche is, we need to present as an expert in our field because that contributes to the way we are seen personally, in our industry, by our potential clients or customers. They can spot a dinosaur a mile away.
If you are teachable you will be able to admit that you don’t know everything, and you will be able to allow others to show you what you don’t know. You will be able to change your mind and actively consider the latest information. Humility demonstrates a stronger and more grounded character than ego and pride.
Learning never detracts from who we are, or our authority and it does demonstrate to other people that it’s safe to admit not knowing everything. I call that positive leadership and that develops authority.
Too many leaders are ego driven and work to justify their positions by needing to present like they know everything.
Where Does This Come From?
We often have false beliefs developed through our upbringing, the education system and life-experiences that say, “I must be right, have the answers, not knowing isn’t good enough, I must be perfect!”
When we bring these beliefs into our adult life and use them to mask our weaknesses and pretend, we know the answers. This creates defensive energy and those who see through our mask will cease to engage.
Shifting To Personal Growth
Turning around these false beliefs can lead to positive and humble beliefs such as, “I’m always willing to learn, I like to explore other people’s ideas”. This develops a character shift, leads to personal growth and encourages people to engage with us.
I’m Right, You’re Wrong
If we are truly teachable, we will be able to let go of the need to be right all the time. Have you noticed how even the smallest detail can be blown out of proportion?
“Did you notice what that politician said about XYZ last Monday”?
“Yes, I heard but it was Tuesday, not Monday”.
“No, it was definitely Monday”.
The argument continues and the words of the politician are forgotten because of the need to be right about the day. This is “the need to be right” and it can affect relationships, among many other things.
I remember a political argument some years ago with a friend. It’s fair to say that we come from opposite ends of the political spectrum and to an outsider it would have been clear that the argument was going nowhere. Yet we persisted and it didn’t end happily.
Today, I let him speak and never react. I listen with an open-mind because there may be learning opportunities. One of the things I have learned is that much of what he argues is outdated theory and he is unwilling to consider his outdated thinking or be teachable on things that have changed. I respect him for who he is not his political opinion, and I remain detached from his arguments. Today, he rarely raises politics in my presence. In a wonderful way, this has brought us closer together and partly because I shed my need to be right and considered my own opinions authentically.
Authentic and Transforming
“Being authentic means coming from a real place within. It is when our actions and words are consistent with our beliefs and values. It is being ourselves, not an imitation of what we think we should be or have been told we should be”.
By doing this in relation to my friend, I have learned things about him and myself. Through learning, I transformed my thinking about how to deal with the situation and that has led to a more harmonious relationship.
I choose humility and being teachable.
In life and the Internet, we have a mind-boggling array of resources available to teach us the “How To” of developing a successful life or business; whatever we decide to focus our attention upon. There are hundreds of people with incredible and valuable experience that they freely share if we are willing to accept their teachings and not reject them because something in our experience suggests they are wrong or the words they use, their style or manner doesn’t fit our thinking.
Choose Humility. Be Teachable, it’s a lifelong journey and it can lead to the growth of success.
Tools That Help
Relating to these there are plenty of tools that can help with Personal Growth and Development. If you would like a free 20-minute consult on some of these, please leave your contact details in the comments and you will receive a prompt response.
There are many ways to effectively explore and advance your Personal Development in any area of life that matters to you. A box of tools to challenge the boundaries and move forward toward realizing success is extremely beneficial.
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Comments and Questions
Leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in other readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.
I bow to the place in you that is love, light, and joy
Peace & Light
Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors. He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.