It’s All About You

“Ne te quaesiveris extra.” (Do not seek for things outside of yourself)”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance and Other Essays

Journey to Self

As a psychologist and a person who is concerned about my ongoing personal development, I believe that our quest for understanding starts with the “self”and to get into the self, we need to go on frequent journeys within to assess and adjust where necessary. By scaling the heights of self, we can get a good measure of the person that operates in the world and interacts with the people and events that cross our radar.

One of the challenges with this, and there are many, is that too often we forget that we are human beings, not human doings. Daily activities have a habit of pulling us away from self and into the exterior world of doing. If self gets pushed out of the picture for too long, we often become disillusioned and find ourselves off course.

How often have you observed a person completely “fired-up” about something and giving it their all when suddenly they crashed and burned because for example, the money didn’t come in quickly enough? Perhaps the “self” was fired-up, but the external self didn’t feel like it was meeting expectations of the outer world.

Outside In

What impression does your character have on others? The answer to that depends on; who you’re with, how well you know them. We constantly adjust to circumstances depending on the influences as we journey through life. There are two aspects to character coming up right now; the outer that people see and somewhere deep within us something already formed that informs everything about us. Perhaps this is part of the spiritual connection that people talk about.

Our character gives form and expression to personal ideas and standards which change and evolve as we navigate through life’s twists and turns. As we evolve, we need to learn, analyze and assess which traits are right and which we might need to adjust or abandon completely. To do this, we need to look at our personality with an open-mind.


Think about when you reveal what you consider your true personality and when you don’t. Here are a few questions to consider:

  • Are the subtle qualities of your “self” always revealed?
  • Does your hidden personality change in different circumstances?
  • Is our “inner-self” reflecting different standards to express itself?

By reflecting on our journey through life and the ways we respond can reveal some interesting knowledge about ourselves.

In her book, “The Story of the Year: A record of feasts and ceremonies” by theosophist, Mabel Collins Cook, published in 1895, she argued that the true meaning of life on earth consists of the mutual contact between personalities and the efforts of growth.

“Those things which are called events and circumstances, and which are regarded as the real contents of life are in reality only the conditions which make these contacts and this growth possible”.

Growth needs truth; truth to ourselves

Without truth we become puppets to expectations

As far as our daily thought processes are concerned, our deep, immaterial levels of what we know are often subtle and elusive. Many people are unaware that a deeper level of awareness is buried deep within their being. Although it has been making steps forward, science doesn’t explain this very well because it has tended to rely on the five senses of sight, touch, sound, smell and hearing. If we rely solely on these five senses, discovering our inner-self is going to be extremely challenging at best.

If we stick with the five senses and what we think we know through physical perception, our journey to self-discovery will be hampered.


According to mystics . . . hang on . . .,

The perceivable and non-perceivable worlds have something in common. Namely, they contain all qualities of the Cosmic which describes the unity of all things. The Cosmic is within all things, including you and I and we can learn how to tap into the higher aspects of our selves.

A while back, I wrote a post titled, “Visualization Techniques for Goal Setting” which touched lightly on meditation techniques because through meditation or quiet contemplation we can make contact with the Cosmic force that guides us and apply our discoveries to new useful and practical ways to continue the journey to success; if that’s what we seek.


We all have the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning, aka “intuition”. Try making a note the next time your intuition speaks and then ask yourself this question.

“Was that my intuition speaking from my inner-self or, was it a response to the way society, family, etc has taught me to respond at times like this”?

Make a habit of finding those quiet contemplative moments because it is through those that you will find your answers. Discovering the source of your light is another turn of the key to opening the door to your success.

“Where can I look? How shall I find my greater self?

Shall I search in the heart of a rose? Shall I empty all the cupboards of my mind, examining like stones or jewels, my loves and hates; my griefs and pleasures?

Turning them over and over, again and again?

Shall I dig in the sand, rifle through the many pages of many books? Listen to the song of the trees as they sway and susurrate in the wind? Scrabble through drawers? Open cases?

No! No! Let me turn my back on these things of the world”.

Extract from a poem, “Know Thyself” by Celia Hawkins (1928 – 2003)

Do you know your “self”?

It’s an exciting and often challenging journey. If you would like some help to get started, leave a message and I will contact you soon.

Comments and Questions

Please leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in another readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.

Here’s to a successful day

Peace & Light


Seasons Greetings

Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors. He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.

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