Do you know what your deep driving desire is?
If you do, you will know your will and if you know that you will know what actions to take toward your success. As you navigate in the direction of success you start to reach your destiny.
That sounds simple enough
For some people it is while others cast their nets everywhere but still feel that they’re not reaching their destiny if indeed they truly know what it is. Failure is seen as an end-point rather than an opportunity to learn and grow and success becomes illusive. Nets are cast in different directions and the catch is small or nothing at all.
Success has many aspects; it’s not just about material wealth. It also includes energy and enthusiasm for life, rewarding relationships, emotional and psychological strength, well-being, peace of mind and creative independence. There may well be more but recognizing that success is a journey and not a destination is crucial.
Think about it like this. Have you heard anybody say that they or somebody else are not successful because they are not making the money they desire? The result of that is the other aspects of success are challenged and downward spirals commence. Of course, money makes the journey through life smoother and more enjoyable, but should we allow it to dominate our thinking?
Scarcity Thinking
I was brought up in an environment where money was always reported as scarce. I’m not going to dig into the why of that, but I need to acknowledge that it affected my thinking and actions for too much of my life because deep-down money was difficult to come by. Although I worked hard, I never had any. Money was scarce and the lack of funds affected everything, including many of those aspects of success I mentioned above.
Until Somebody Asked a Question
“What successes have you had in life, Steve? And, please don’t talk to me about money”. Well, what a fantastic and highly illuminating exercise. I don’t want to encourage any comparisons so I’m not going to list all my successes here, except to say there were many more than I previously recognized.
Here’s one example:
Since leaving the formal education system, I have applied for numerous jobs and have had many. Only twice have I been refused and on both occasions, I know that the reasons did not relate to me. I believed in my potential and that always aligned me with the power to manifest what I needed and that placed me in the position of being able to say, “no thanks” to some job offers.
Pure Potential
I believe this to be something that we all have but it is also something that many fail to recognize. If we learn to accept that we have potential, we develop the ability to achieve our dreams. By knowing and experiencing our true self we step closer to our potential.
Point of Reference
Objects and material things are not valid points of reference, only knowing ‘Self’ can formulate those. Yet, how often are we influenced by ‘Outside’ objects, people, things, situations, circumstances? We frequently seek the approval of others which makes our thinking and behaviors fear-based because we are always anticipating a response.
Psychologically speaking, our ego is responsible for this. In other words, the self-image we have developed to create a social mask that thrives on approval, control and is sustained by power because it lives in fear. But there is another side to being the wonderful humans that we are, as I said a moment ago; knowing self.
Self is exceptionally powerful. It doesn’t fear criticism or challenge and is beneath no one. At the same time, it is humble and has no need to feel superior to others because it recognizes that all ‘selves’ are the same in different bodies.
Self is Power
If we try to find power through objects and material things, it often becomes a false power. Let’s say you have a big business employing lots of people and earning you a large income. What happens when a bigger business takes away your market share? You crash and burn, taking your employees with you. During your hey-day your ego-based power thrived, at least until it crashed when your object reference was taken away.
Self-Power can’t be hurt like the ego because once discovered it never goes away. It draws people and things to you like a magnet attracting your desires. Relationships with people improve and people will seek you out.
Accessing Self
There is an on switch but finding it can be tricky yet there are plenty of tools that can help.
- Meditation. Not necessarily for hours on end unless you intend on becoming a student of Buddhism. Here’s a short post that might help.
- Practice Non-Judgement. Allow people to say what they feel and choose to accept it or not but don’t judge them. Judgement restricts your flow of energy and inhibits possibility.
- Spend time in and appreciating nature. The potential of nature is truly awe-inspiring. The shocking fires in Australia and the damage to nature will recover because of the infinite creativity of nature.
- Be silent. Watching TV, reading books, listening to the radio or talking creates mind-turbulence. No! Don’t withdraw and become a hermit, spend some time each day in a space where distractions are removed. Simply ‘Be’.
Managing Silence
Let’s be realistic. Staying silent for most of us is challenging at best. Our internal dialogue 
simply refuses to shut up. You might feel an intense desire to get involved in the mind-dialogue but by gently ignoring it and refusing to engage, it gets easier until you achieve true silence and the ego relinquishes power to your true self.
This is when you can connect to any possibility by introducing your intentions. Yes, in the early days of silence, the ego will butt in but putting it back in its corner will become progressively easier if you are willing to practice.
Think about throwing a small pebble into a pool of still water and the ripples radiate out. This is what happens when you introduce an intention into a still mind. The ripples of intention radiate out and become possibilities.
Possibilities can become probabilities if we seek out our true selves.
Finding Help
One of the things we do is offer help to people who need guidance and support with these and many other aspects of personal development. If you would like to know more, please leave an email here and we will respond promptly. Your contact detail will never be shared and you can read the details in our privacy policy at the top of the page.
Comments and Questions
Please leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in another readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.
Peace & Light
Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors. He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.