Our Own Deep Values

Following on from an earlier post, I touched on how things can affect us, particularly the behaviors of the people around us. But wait! We all have Free Will, right? So really, it’s entirely our choice to decide how things are going to affect us. Between what happens to us and our responses to them we find our freedom to choose those responses.

If we see certain problems being out there like, “I think I might quit this project because after 2 months I’ve not made any money yet”, then that very thought is the problem and to repeat the ending of my previous post with the same Einstein quote,

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them”.

We Empower What is “Out There” to Control Us

People who exercise their free will frequently find that their freedom gradually expands. Follow your learning, career or business system, keep taking consistent action and eventually you will receive the abundance you so desire or whatever else it is. As Lucifer in the TV series asks,

“What is it that you desire”?

On the other hand, those who don’t make use of their freedom shouldn’t be surprised to discover that it withers away until events are living them rather than controlling or trying to alter those circumstances. They are actors in a movie scripted by society, peers, parents, teachers, associates and social media . . . and that is not a good place to be.

Attempting to exercise her own free will, a friend’s 8-year-old princess stepped into the fray and informed her mum about how she would approach her home-schooling a few days ago. Everything she said was entirely on her terms. OK, she didn’t quite get the how to but come on she’s only eight. My children have done the same and collected parental wrath for their trouble. I admit too that I have been known to push free will a little too far and have found myself in deep-water because in my case I chose to ignore the acceptable norms that the little people are often still and painfully learning. Still, I continue to poke and prod the ‘norms’ that don’t sit well with my values, yet I don’t expect anybody to accept my will.

As our little princesses and princes grow and mature, they become increasingly aware of the interdependence of all of nature. Eventually we discover that the higher reaches of our nature depend on our relationships with others. Human lives are interdependent too.

Deep Values

Before all else, we must learn to be followers of our own deep values and their source. We all have the power, will and integrity to overcome our negative feelings, wild impulses and moods that affect the values we have set ourselves to be of primary importance in our lives. But how can we do that?


Expanding your perspective expands your mind. Visualizing desired goals in rich detail with as many emotions and feelings as possible and, inject as many of the senses as you can manage. Visualization creates a universe of amazing potential within us.


There’s not just one pie out there with a limited number of slices. There is abundance for everyone, and nobody suffers because somebody helped themselves to a large slice.

Think about it like this, according to statista.com, In 2021, over 2.14 billion people worldwide are expected to buy goods and services on the Internet and small businesses with blogs get 126% more lead growth than those without. Just putting that out there 2.14 billion is a lot of people and from my understandings there are nowhere near as many businesses.

  • Decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage to say “NO” to other thoughts.
  • Don’t rationalize for your own or other people’s shortcomings.
  • When you make an error, admit it, correct it, move on.

Limiting Beliefs

Maybe you do have some of these, but we can push back the boundaries of our limitations. By understanding the principles of our own growth, we can find the correct values to drive us forward. Limiting beliefs are usually not precisely our own although we have come to own them because we have allowed them to be reinforced by giving up a portion of our free will. If we analyze each as we identify them, we will see that they came in from other sources. If they came in from the outside, they can be sent back out. Challenging yes; impossible, no.


Talk to yourself and others about your deep thoughts and feelings. If you find talk difficult, write about them in a journal or notebook as though you were having a conversation. It’s extremely effective and helps us to reason, understand ourselves and be understood by others.

Getting in touch with our true values can lead to life-changing and positive differences in all that we do. Keep in mind though that we must learn to control ourselves to be and do what really matters. Checks and balances are essential as we navigate and travel forward. These too contribute to growth. By aligning ourselves with timeless, unchanging principles, we can fulfill our personal mission for meaningful living.


You are the most powerful investment you can ever make on your journey to success. Each of us are responsible for discovering and realizing our own happiness.

Theory To Practice

The integration of theory and practice is very important in life, business or educational systems. It provides the knowledge and expertise required to develop skills and better understanding of real-world events and issues that we come across in our lives in the future. It is important to understand the theory and relate it to practice in the real world. With this in mind, you can expect a series of practical tips and methods to help put the theory inside posts at banish-doubt.com – Watch out for these in free PDF’s that will be available soon.

Comments and Questions

Please leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in another readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.

I hope you have a wonderful day

Here’s to your success

Peace & Light


Seasons Greetings

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Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors. He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.

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