At various levels we’ve all asked or been asked potentially life-changing questions. How often do we answer these questions on auto-pilot? Hand up, I know the answer to that, here it is. No analysis necessary, no second thoughts, some things we just know; or do we?
We are not taught that it’s OK not to know. For the greater part of our early education, we are expected to absorb and learn and if we don’t know the answer to questions asked, we might feel inferior to others or lacking in ability. If that happens often enough, significant people start to raise questions concerning our abilities, we start to question ourselves and confidence takes a knock. From there we head off into a downward spiral of lowering self-esteem and limiting beliefs.
The opposite can also be true. Believing that we have all the answers can be misleading and take us down dreamy country lanes that eventually lose their appeal. The answers we provided were not in our best interests even though they seemed right at the time.
Instead, coming from a position of power can provide exponential benefits. That place of power is being able to admit not knowing because in that magical place, mysteries are revealed and once we discover the answers we didn’t immediately know, we can step into a place of knowing that benefits our highest good. This comes at a price.
A simple honesty definition is not difficult to come by. Most of us are taught what honesty is during socialization. We have a moral compass and honesty is clearly marked.
“Honesty is a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc. Honesty also involves being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere”.
We can be forgiven for thinking that where honesty is concerned it is an attribute that is applied by us and relates to the way we behave with other people. Yet honesty has to start with us. If we are to enjoy any level of success in life, we must be honest with ourselves.
By observing our thoughts, questioning them and answering honestly, we step into a place of possibility. Know that honesty does not have to be brutal. There is truth in the saying that we are our own worst critics. This is not about personal criticism; it is about loving kindness and finding ways to light our path with guiding lights.
What if getting into the habit of asking a few simple questions could change your life?
When you’re having a stressful or negative thought, ask yourself:
- Is this true?
- How can I know it’s true?
- If I believe that thought what sort of reactions does it create?
- What would my life look like without the thought?
Turn the thought around. Make it a positive opposite of the thought you started with. If it helps, do this from the point of view of you helping a friend who has just identified that challenging thought. Objectivity is key.
More Tools That Help
Relating to these there are plenty of tools in addition to the one presented here that can help with your Personal Growth and Development whether you feel challenged or just seek to advance the way you respond to your world. If you would like a free 20-minute coaching session on some of these, please leave your contact details in the comments and you will receive a prompt response.
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Comments and Questions
Leave yours below. Your thoughts or questions may well ignite a positive spark in other readers thinking. You will always receive a prompt response to your questions and there is no such thing as a bad question; only the one that was never asked.
I bow to the place in you that is love, light, and joy
Peace & Light
Steve Costello is a British Community & Youth Studies and Psychology honors graduate with over 30-years theoretical and practical experience in the Personal Development public and private sectors.
Steve’s primary focus is on helping successful people to exponentially increase their success to levels they didn’t previously see as possible.
He founded ExGro in 2018 with business partner, friend and clinical psychologist, Leo Faerberg.